Update: Life after PAO

I haven't posted on here in a very long time. I started this blog to help others going through the PAO process and dealing with the life changing condition, hip dysplasia. Since my last post I got into grad school to become an occupational therapist, got my hip story published in Onward!, and got engaged!! I've learned so much through everything that's happened. I didn't even know it was possible. I also had a really bad fall last year that affected my back and SI joint. Which ultimately affects my hips. But to get back on topic, let me share with you some of the things I've learned from dealing with hip dysplasia, a newly diagnosed connective tissue disorder, and chronic pain....

1. Even the most empathetic of individuals don't understand the intensity and struggle.
I am surrounded by the most incredible people, however, it's hard to understand the daily struggles unless you've truly been through it. My pains are "invisible" to many people. I always try to keep a smile on my face. I've come to accept my condition and all that comes with it. However, sometimes because of this, people don't understand the times that I need a little extra help or patience. I always try to keep a brave face. But like anyone dealing with this amount of pain consistently, sometimes my bravery isn't enough. And that's OK. It's OK to be vulnerable, emotional, and open. Give yourself time to do this for a moment, then get back out there and live. Live your life with the strengths you do have. Do the things that you CAN do. And when those people come along that try to understand but just aren't able to, help them by communicating how they can help, how they can be by your side, and how they can help you through the times when you can't do it alone.

2. The problem will always be with you and that's OK.
I was always in denial. Denial of the true nature of my problems. I thought, I'll be normal again, I just have to work hard. And then I didn't meet my expectations time and time again. Until I came to the conclusion, it's OK. It is what it is and it's me. I am still me. Even though it affects every aspect of my life, I can still live my life to the fullest. I can do all the occupations that are meaningful to me. It's a struggle but it's MY struggle. It makes me who I am. I'll never be "normal" again, but I'll always have the moments I persevered and overcame the hardships. I'll always have the times I found true friendships despite my disabilities. And I'll always have what makes me, me!

3. Balance of daily routines is vital to a successful and decreased pain level.
I've learned about  occupational balance (balance of occupations in your daily life) and have taken that to heart when finding ways to have a successful life. Ive found that balancing things throughout the day helps decrease my pain and symptoms. I can't sit, stand, walk, etc. for long periods of time. I have to balance these together and take breaks. This is the key. However, there are those times that it's not possible. For instance, I had to volunteer at an event where I stood for three hours. The night after.... WAS HELL. Luckily, my fiance knows how to help when it gets this bad. He massaged my back and helped me get to sleep. I don't know what I'd do without him! Having a support like that helps you stay balanced throughout the day because you always know they are there to catch you on the bad days.

4. Learn, learn, and then learn some more.
I've found that being educated about your condition helps your recovery and life overall. You can make informed decisions more accurately and change little things in your life that make all the difference. For instance, getting out of your car by pivoting, putting two feet on the ground, then standing up. Trust me... makes a big difference! Or learning correct body mechanics when doing daily activities to increase joint protection and energy conservation. I use these every day. Also, make sure to read upcoming research, treatments, and ideas out there. There's usually always something new you can try.

5. Learn to listen to your body.
Your body knows best. Respect your pain. Don't let it control you, but don't ignore it either. This is a fine line you have to dance on everyday day. Find your balance and when you fall, don't be afraid to get back up again.

Everyone has there problems in life. I've learned that this is mine. Despite its difficulties, these problems have made me a better person, OT, and partner. I'm able to be more empathetic and understanding with the people in my life. And I am grateful for that.

1 year 9 months and 1 day POST-PAO

It is 1 year 9 months and 1 day POST-PAO.  It feels like my surgery should be a distant memory but it's not.  The experience still lives with me every day.  The struggles,  the accomplishments, and everything in between.  I can run (and walk for that matter) without pain! I don't think of my hip every second of every day but I do still think of it often. I plan on celebrating my 2 year hipiversary by finally getting my dream tattoo. It will be a rose vine growing out of my scar.  I want it to represent how much I have grown and blossomed since my initial diagnosis. There are certain moments over my journey that still stick out to me so to show how far I've come I'd like to share them here:

-I remember waking up in pain from my hip years ago not even knowing why.
-I remember hanging out with friends in 8th grade while on crutches because I couldn't walk on my hip.  My friend carried me on her back across a busy intersection.
-I remember the day I got my stress fracture in my hip and how long 1 mile felt while walking back to the car.
-I remember the moment I was diagnosed and the feeling of a mix between disbelief,     fear, anger, sadness and relief.
-I remember the feeling of happiness and accomplishment completely overwhelming me when I ran for the first time after surgery.
-But for whatever reason this sticks out the most...I remember one very definite moment where I finally accepted my diagnosis.  I was walking down a hallway at CSU and realized I couldn't walk from my classroom to my car. Before this moment I was in denial. When this happened though,  I realized how serious everything was and I was finally able to truly prepare for my surgery.

I have come so extremely far since these memories.  I am so thankful to have gone through this experience with such support from family and friends.  I wouldn't have been able to get to where I am without them.

5K!

I ran a 5K! The Color Run! I ran pretty much the ENTIRE thing!

It was a few months ago but I forgot to post my photos, so I thought I would now...

I have come so far since surgery...

Never Give Up!

So, I haven't posted in a long time! I thought I would get you up to date on everything that's going on with me. I have had some incredible improvements! First of all...

I ran on the treadmill for 10 minutes straight!!! NO WALKING!!!

That was a HUGE accomplishment for me! There was no pain and not even any tingling that I have been feeling every time I ran after surgery. I'm finally getting better and doing this helped me realize that. Before I did this, I felt like I was platoeing and didn't seem to be getting any better or any worse. But FINALLY I saw some improvement! It meant a lot! I just can't wait until I get to run on the road again. I think about that all the time. When I finally am able to, I am definitely not going to take that for granted. I don't even take walking for granted any more. 

So the next big accomplishment...

I walked 3 miles today!

I know I've done this after surgery before, but this time was special. It was on the marathon route. I haven't walked the marathon route by myself in almost 2 years.These little accomplishments aren't little at all to me. There are so many things I am thankful my body is able to do. I am thankful I can walk, run on the treadmill, put my shoes on, walk up stairs, drive the car, sit cross-legged, sit on the ground and be able to get back up, and so much more. 

I saw a man walking with his wife in the park today. There was something special about this man...he was using a walker. He inspired me because I know how difficult it is to do. He made me smile and I just wanted to tell him my whole entire story. I'm back to blending in with the public (something I wanted so bad in the past) and now I want someone to know about my hip! It's only natural to want to talk to someone sharing the same experiences as you. I didn't talk to him. But I am proud of him. I am proud that he went out for a walk and is working hard at recovering. Watching him struggle made me think about everything I've been through and how far I've come. I'm so thankful that I have progressed so much over the past year. I've worked really hard, been through really tough times, and right now I only have positive things to say about my hip. Something, I thought I would never be able to say.

To all those reading this that are going through hip dysplasia, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just starting to see it now, but it is there. Be patient, work hard, and keep family/friends close to help you get through. Never give up.

Photo by: One Hip World

The little things...

I noticed that I was always focusing on the negatives about the hip dysplasia (because honestly, there were a lot more negatives than positives at first). So for this post, I decided to list all the positives that my diagnosis of hip dysplasia has given me:

• I started going full force into Occupational Therapy! And I love it!
• I am substitute teaching and meeting great people
• I got to go through an experience that not many people my age get to go through, and I learned so much along the way!
• I experienced a great physical therapy team that coached, taught, and pushed me through the toughest time in my life
• I LEARNED TO WALK AGAIN! (How many people can say that?! Booyah!)
• I can run without pain!
• I can go out drinking with my friends and not bring crutches or a cane along (I was on crutches for my 21st bday)
• I can play catch in the park with my boyfriend (I did that for the first time today since surgery!)
• I can stand all day at work without being in pain!
• I can sleep throughout the night
• I can actually fall asleep without medicine!
• I haven't had to take pain medication in a long time!!!! 
• I can park far away just to get myself to walk longer
• I don't need to carry a foldable cane in my purse!
• I don't need a walker, cane, crutches or any kind of device to help me walk from my living room to the bathroom!
• I learned that I have great family and friends that would do anything to support me :) 
• I have an excuse to get an awesome tattoo over my 10 inch scar!
• I now have my very own walker, shower seat, transfer board, bathtub handle, sock aid, an abundance of exercise bands, etc.
• I can easily get in and out of the car
• I don't get weird looks when out in public like "Why does that young girl have a cane?" (I actually have been told by various people that "I didn't need that". I just looked at them and told them "No, I really do". How naive can people be?!)
• I am sitting here typing this and can say that I am NOT IN ANY PAIN WHATSOEVER! (Do you know how huge that is?! I never thought I'd feel this great!)
• The list can go on and on...

9 months and 20 days POST-PAO!

Two years

This time two years ago, I was preparing to run my first marathon, finishing my Bachelors degree with high hopes I'd be starting a PhD program, and got a job at my internship that would start right after I graduated. So much has changed over the past two years.

By July of that year, I had to put my marathon training to a halt due to a stress fracture. To my surprise, it ended up being much more than just that. I had to quit my job and didn't get into any PhD program I applied to. I felt like I slammed against a huge brick wall. All the things I was striving for was ripped out from under me.

That winter my childhood friend, grandma, and great aunt passed away along with being diagnosed with a life changing condition, hip dysplasia. All of these happening within two weeks of each other. After all this happened, I started going to school again while preparing for surgery. After one of the most stressful semesters of my life, I had the surgery. I spent the summer recovering and saw huge improvements. That fall I kept going to school and realized how much my hip really did affect my life.

It's now two years later and I'm trying to figure out which race I want to run in the summer. I am able to run on the treadmill but won't be able to run on the roads until the summer. I decided the 5K Color Run in July would be a great way to celebrate. But, I still keep thinking about that marathon I so desperately wanted to complete. My plan is to be able to run the half marathon in September of 2014. Hopefully, one day I'll be able to complete a full marathon.

My hip still does affect me every day and I am constantly thinking about it. I don't think that will ever change. However, what I am able to do with it will. And even though my life is completely different as I planned, I am looking forward to see what it will be like two years from now.

9 months and 3 days POST-PAO!

I graduated!

I officially graduated from physical therapy this week! I have been going to physical therapy for 8 months! Now it is up to me to continue my exercises. I'm going to miss all the people that I used to see every time I went there. However, I am excited to be able to do it all on my own. :)