Two years

This time two years ago, I was preparing to run my first marathon, finishing my Bachelors degree with high hopes I'd be starting a PhD program, and got a job at my internship that would start right after I graduated. So much has changed over the past two years.

By July of that year, I had to put my marathon training to a halt due to a stress fracture. To my surprise, it ended up being much more than just that. I had to quit my job and didn't get into any PhD program I applied to. I felt like I slammed against a huge brick wall. All the things I was striving for was ripped out from under me.

That winter my childhood friend, grandma, and great aunt passed away along with being diagnosed with a life changing condition, hip dysplasia. All of these happening within two weeks of each other. After all this happened, I started going to school again while preparing for surgery. After one of the most stressful semesters of my life, I had the surgery. I spent the summer recovering and saw huge improvements. That fall I kept going to school and realized how much my hip really did affect my life.

It's now two years later and I'm trying to figure out which race I want to run in the summer. I am able to run on the treadmill but won't be able to run on the roads until the summer. I decided the 5K Color Run in July would be a great way to celebrate. But, I still keep thinking about that marathon I so desperately wanted to complete. My plan is to be able to run the half marathon in September of 2014. Hopefully, one day I'll be able to complete a full marathon.

My hip still does affect me every day and I am constantly thinking about it. I don't think that will ever change. However, what I am able to do with it will. And even though my life is completely different as I planned, I am looking forward to see what it will be like two years from now.

9 months and 3 days POST-PAO!

Jogging, jogging, joggin'

During my physical therapy session today I jogged on the treadmill again! This time was twice as long as the last time I jogged. Also, I increased the jog to 4.0 miles an hour! It felt so great to be able to do this! I just kept thinking about how much I have been through and how far I have come.

As for right now, my left side is still weaker than the right, but it is MUCH better than it was before. I still have a ways to go in recovery. I will most likely be stopping physical therapy at the end of this month and it will be up to me to keep at it! I will probably start up again in the summer when I can start running on the road.

A concern right now is that I have a little bump on my left hip. It is most likely scar tissue and doesn't give me any pain. I just need to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't increase in size. My thigh is still numb and I am planning on it being that way the rest of my life. It might take two years to come back, but it most likely won't. The best thing for me to do right now is stick with my physical therapy. I slowed down on it for a few weeks and really noticed the difference! It helps so much!

This journey has been a long and eventful one.

 

"Remember the feeling you get from a good run is far better than the feeling you get from sitting around wishing you were running."
-Sarah Condor 

6 months and 26 days POST-PAO!

Invisible Injury, Invisible Pain

I've heard the term be used so many times about hip dysplasia. It's an "invisible injury". It's something that can't be seen by strangers. I am walking unassisted now but I still think about my hip with every step I take. The "VIP" treatment is gone. I finally "fit in" with the rest of society. I have been waiting for that for so long. However, as soon as I didn't need the cane anymore there was this idea that I was healed. That my hip was magically fixed and I could go about my life like nothing happened. That is not the case. I still have a long way to go in recovery. My left hip is still a lot weaker than my right. I'm in the point of recovery where I wish I was done. I noticed the whole process has affected many things in my life. It's like there is a part of my brain that is always focused on my hip and I don't have room to focus on anything else completely. I read a fellow hip blog the other day. He was two years out from his FAI surgery. He still favored his hip and said that it never really will be what it used to. When I first decided to have this surgery, I thought it was so great that this could be fixed and it would be like I have a new hip. Thinking that I wouldn't have to favor it anymore and I could live the rest of my life not worrying about it. After my last appointment with my surgeon, I realized this was not the case. He explained to me that I do not have a normal hip. I never will have a normal hip. I always have to think about that and try and take care of it the best I can. This was an eye opener for me. I didn't realize how much I was in denial about the hip dysplasia. I thought this surgery would erase it. It would be that magic fix I was waiting for. Coming to the realization that I would have to think about it the rest of my life was stressful, but now that I acknowledge that I know that I can deal with it.

Today I was walking in between classes and passed a person in the hall because I was walking faster than them. It made me feel so good that I was able to do this again. I wanted to look back and say that they walk slower than a girl that had a major hip surgery a few months ago! But I didn't. I am so happy on how much I have progressed over the past few months. I am happy that I am able to walk to class without everyone wondering why a 21 year old girl is using a cane. I'm glad that I don't have to explain to everyone in my class why I have the cane. However, I will admit it was nice having that support of everyone around me knowing the pain I was in. I'm glad to say that I do not have any more pain deep in my joint. Occasionally, I do get pain in random places but I can deal with that.

I have just been taking one day at a time. I am in an intense semester with some of the hardest classes I have ever taken and am in the point of recovery where I don't really know what is going to happen next. I just need to take a deep breathe and wait for this part to pass, because I know that after it's over, I am going to be in such a better place.